Hamlet

Long Time Coming

It seems impossible that I'm still wrestling with the issues of my friend who always seems to be teetering on the precipice of the world of the married. I don't know how many times in the course of the past few months she's had to utter the words divorce. I still don't feel like there is closure in her life; therefore as her friend, I listen to her struggle...over and over. What happens when a really unhealthy person clings to what he knows is a good thing, yet makes his wife's life nearly unbearable. This is when it is hard to see God's hand. I know that his timing and provision is perfect, and I know that his big picture is so much larger than I could ever imagine. It's just hard to see what good can grow from a still broken marriage that only one person is willing to try to fix.

On a personal note, as I look over the blog entries of May of 2007 when I did not get a job as an assistant principal, one year five months later, I have been an assistant principal since July 1. I absolutely love what I do. It is challenging and frustrating and fun and maddening and joyful all at the same time. I love getting up and going to school in the morning, even if I set my alarm for 5 a.m. I feel like I am making a difference in education. I am learning many new things everday.

The Struggle

Maybe I've been fortunate. Maybe I've been sheltered. Or maybe I've just never been this close. Marital infidelity wreaks havoc...on everybody. One of the early posts on this blog was some of my first reactions to my friend's affair. So much has happened since then. So much. It's been about ten months since I first found out about the affair. While healing is never easy, it has been excruciating witnessing the long, drawn-out, painful process that is supposed to lead to a stronger marriage. Her husband needs help--more help than he's getting. The respect and admiration I had for him for sticking with her has long gone out the window. While I acknowledged his part in the affair, I didn't realize what a major role he played. And for the past 10 months, instead of getting better, he has just changed his methods of manipulation.

Because she is my friend, I have listened. I have offered counsel. I have prayed. How she keeps it together each day, I'll never know. The worst part, though, has got to be not knowing how it's going to turn out in the end. When a person begins a journey, it's usually with a goal, a destination, in mind. This journey doesn't seem to have an end.

I am having a difficult time processing this whole ordeal. I will write more later.

Inconsistent

There's nothing more daunting than a blank page, especially if you consider yourself a writer. I guess everyone is a writer if they write. But I digress. I was just reading a website called Advent Conspiracy. What a great idea. In a nutshell, it encourages people to worship more, spend less, give more, and love all. Worshiping more is relatively easy to do. Spending less--not as easy. Giving more? Whew. It's ironic to think about all the holiday parties and family gatherings we put on our calendars. Spending less money on more thoughtful gifts and giving more time to build relationships requires time. Time is what becomes so scarce this time of year. Maybe the point is: spend time with the people you love all year round. Tell them how much they mean to you, maybe even give thoughtful, inexpensive gifts all year long. Now I remember why I was really overwhelmed with a blank page. I was thinking about writing poems for people I love. I better get started.

I'm Back

After an incredible vacation in June, a recovery in July, and a school year start in August, I've decided to continue writing in this blog. On my other blog, I had a good-sized audience. Friends and family followed our travels all over the West. They had fun commenting on our expedition, and many did not know I enjoyed writing; some were unduly impressed. Although it's nice to have an audience, I've decided not to link the two blogs. The content of the travel blog was light and only personal in that Tim and I narrated the scenery. In this blog, I tend to be more contemplative and philosophical. Of course, those ideas come from my life--too personal to share with everyone who knows me--I don't want to offend anyone. Therefore, this blog is more anonymous. (Can something be more anonymous?)

It's difficult to come up with something to write about everyday without more time and effort than I can afford right now. I guess I'll write when I have something to write about.

Neglect

I have not been posting on this blog because I have spent so much time and energy on my (our) travel blog. I probably won't blog much here because I will be traveling the western United States for most of June and into July.

The Wait Is Over

I did not get the assistant principal job. I am disappointed, but I believe that God's timing is perfect. I hear people say that, and it sounds trite, but I really do believe it. I am waiting for whatever God has in store for me that is better than being an assistant principal!